Ice T joke at 5:30 am on a Wednesday? I’m starting my day out RIGHT people!
Lately, my homeboy J Bone has not been the happiest little monkey in the mornings. It’s cold. It’s dark. And Poppy isn’t home. J Bone and Troy are besties and they each mourn the absence of the other.
That leaves me alone and trying to haul a 32.5 lb hellcat out of his crib. Oh yeah, we’re still rocking the crib. I didn’t sleep for the first 13 months of this kid’s life. Now he’s trapped and sleeps. He’ll be in there until he is 34. It’s hard to hide Playboys in a crib after all.
So, back to me trying to get the pissed off toddler out of his crib. I’ve scoured the internet for tips. I’ve read every parenting book that I can find. And I’ve decided on a tactic that mommas have used since cave babies could first grunt back.
I bribe him.
Tuesdays and Thursdays are preschool days, so he knows he gets a smoothie in the car. Those are easy days. Mondays he is still groggy enough from the weekend to let me get him up, and Fridays he knows the week is over. Wednesdays though? Wednesday are a bitch. The only thing related to Hump Day is the shape he makes while I’m trying to haul his grumpy ass out of bed.
So now, I tell him that I’ll buy him a hot cocoa at the “coffee store” on the way to my aunt’s. I also get my aunt a soy latte (sounds like soy lady when Jack says it). And because Wednesdays are double punch days and I get $.25 off per drink because I bring my own cups, I’m rolling out of there for about $3. Pretty good bribe.
Sunday morning this kid of mine wakes up at 5:30 am. I tell him grumpily to go back to bed. And he does. And he talks in there for 40 minutes. I think to myself “geez, it sure is light out for 6:15 in the morning”. Then it hits me. It’s daylight savings time. To make up for my grumpiness, I tell Jack I’ll make him a special breakfast while he watches cartoons.
I make waffles (recipe tomorrow), fruit, fresh squeezed orange juice (at this point Jack is thinking “damn she can be grumpy EVERY Sunday”), and homemade momma hot cocoa. Better than the coffee store, and made with
Apologetic Hot Cocoa
1 cup of milk (I use raw cause it rocks. Coconut milk is also a special treat)
another splash of milk
homemade vanilla sugar or sweetener of choice (honey is fantastic)
In a pan, heat the milk until it reaches your desired temperature. You’ll want to stir it a few times during the heating process. You can also microwave it.
In your mug, mix equal parts sugar and cocoa powder. I generally do about 2 tsp of each for me, and just a pinch for Jack. He doesn’t need a lot of sugar and/or extra caffeine. Trust.
Splash a tiny bit of milk in the mug, and stir with a spoon to make a paste of the cocoa, sugar, and milk.
Add hot milk and stir to combine.
|Just a little milk in this mug. I am giving an open mug to a toddler after all.|
The taste test…
And we have a winner folks…