With a title like that, pardon me while I pause for the stream of vomit coming out of my mouth. Blech.
I don’t “do” cute.
I don’t “do” cutesie.
Themes make me want to hurl.
If anything pink is remotely involved, I’m out.
Buuuuuuuuut, I had a baby shower to host this past weekend. I decided to walk the line between “stab my eyes out” and “baby austerity measures”. The mom-to-be is a huge lover of chocolate, so the cake flavor was decided. No problem there. Check that off of the to do list! Wait, first, create a do to list. Then write “make to do list” at the top of the list. Cross it off immediately. Feel instant Type A gratification.
My history of actually “decorating” a cake is sketchy. It’s not my strong suit. I just find that my attention span doesn’t work well with frosting, and my artistic ability is very minimal. I googled “easy baby shower cakes” and saw a photo of a cake labeled “cute as a button”, and I thought…”even I can do that”!
My need for a crap ton of fondant was non-existent, so I took the easy way out and purchased pre-colored rolled fondant. It was a cinch to work with; so easy!
1) Take the fondant out of the package, and knead it until it is easy to work with.
2) Sprinkle some powdered sugar on your work surface. Sprinkle a pinch of powdered sugar on a rolling pin, and roll the fondant to your desired thickness.
3) Select your button size. I wanted larger buttons, but didn’t have a cookie cutter in the desired size. So, I went really high-class and used the measuring cup from Jack’s allergy meds. Press your “mold” in to the fondant, and set the circle aside.
4) At this point, you have a few options. You can add an “inner” circle, or just create your button holes. For some of the buttons, I added an inner circle using not a fancy cookie cutter, but the lid of a huge dry erase marker (don’t worry, I cleaned it first).
For the button holes, I used my (clean) meat thermometer. I know…classy.
5) Once all your buttons are to your desired size and decoration, place them on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper. Keep them uncovered for a few days to firm up.
To attach them to the cake, I simply pressed the buttons in to the frosting and they stayed in place with zero issue. In hindsight, I wish I had made smaller buttons along with the big buttons, just for some visual variety.
Personally, I think fondant tastes like ass, but the visual is very pretty at least. Pretty ass! Some of the guests ate the buttons and said they were good…I preferred to just push mine over to the side of my plate and ignore them.
All in all, it was an incredibly easy project to do, and if I say cake decorating was easy, that means a fetus can do it.